'Twas the Night Before Christmas -- Five-0 Style

by Lisa McKenzie

'Twas the night before Christmas,

At the Iolani Palace

Not a creature was stirring...

Not with joy, or with malice.

The work stations left without forethought or care,

In hopes of the staff party and fun waiting there.

The children left home in the care of some teen

With a huge bowl of popcorn to share in between.

And I in my strapless and Bill in his suit,

Had just hit the party, full in Mirth's pursuit,

When out on the lawn, and before we could parrot

Our karaoke lyrics, it was Steve McGarrett!

Away to the windows the guests ran as one,

To see the car skid and the tires as they spun.

More rapid than surfers that Mercury came

As he patched through from Dispatch, his staff men to name:

"Now Danno! Now Kono! Now Chin and Che Fong!

And where's Duke Lukela?  We haven't got long!

Let's get the whole story, let's start at the top,

And, gentlemen, let's have it --

now, what have we got?"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

The men had assembled with throats hot and dry,

So, fast to the door, almost they flew,

Came the men from Five-O and Steve with them, too.

Some scuffling was heard as the door opened wide:

The tall, dark and handsome man's team stepped inside.

The crowd parted quickly, allowing them through

As Steve barked to Danno,

"What's the word on this crew?"

Some folks in the rear made hurriedly to leave,

But Danno's smile stopped them and he said, "Relax, Steve.

Just a party for Christmas, they're a regular bunch,

And if memory serves me, you missed eating your lunch."

"This feast, spread before us - no reason to smirk."

Steve's head nodded slowly--"Danno, good work."

With his fingers snapping and his eyes never still

He made for a chafing dish, keen for the kill.

He was dressed in a suit of silken deep blue;

His eyes like the sea; its identical hue.

He roamed and he grazed, from table to table,

Papaya and guava, with lox on his bagel.

I know I was staring but I couldn't withdraw

My eyes from the jut of his prominent jaw.

Elsewhere the revels rang out in full swing,

Che lifted a glass in his quest for a sting.

Kono and Chin both allowed it was good

And helped sagging plates heaped with Haole food.

While Dan's eager gaze swept o'er the room

In its search of bright eyes and a cheek full in bloom.

"Bingo!" he said, advancing towards his prize,

Who turned into putty 'neath those piercing blue eyes.

"Where, then, is Duke?" Kono wanted to know--

"Why, look! He's got someone - beneath mistletoe!"

They laughed and they nudged and they winked at the sight

As Chin downed his second boiled egg in one bite.

Meanwhile, McGarrett stiffened, aware of my gaze:

I looked quickly away in spite of my daze

And flew toward the stairs to escape all my fluster,

But Steve was there first - "Hi," was all I could muster.

"Hello, gorgeous," he softly purred in my ear,

"Where does a stud like me find a date around here?"

I looked in his eyes - how they twinkled with mirth!

So I made some vague comment about women and their dearth.

"No dames?" he asked, as his eyebrows shot up,

"My God! This is serious!" then "Five-O! Ten-hup!"

The loyal Five-O men, they rushed to their chief

Who apprised them of danger and finished the brief.

With a backward glance he said, "Thanks for the tip,"

My disappointment caused some tears down to drip.

"Easy, babe, easy," Steve said, soft and slow,

He pointed aloft - "Don't you see? Mistletoe!"

I blushed and I stammered, anticipating bliss,

His face then descended with a big, slobbery kiss.

My senses were reeling, my knees they gave way,

He caught me, seating me on the hors d'oeuvre tray.

I giggled and wiggled - Cheez Whiz sure feels funny --

Steve wiped his mouth, saying "See you later, Honey."

He sprang to his Mercury, bringing it to life,

The screech of his tires cut the night like a knife.

He flashed a "howzit" to those who could see

And winked at the tray, chicken salad and me,

Then exclaiming to a crowd thoroughly caught unawares:

"Merry Christmas to you all, from the cop who cares!"  





















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